but i see how much this hurts you. lying to your family. I know how much they mean to you.
and i also hear it in your voice that you know, deep down, we wont work.
it breaks me apart hearing that in your voice, seeing it in your eye's.
i hate it.
i should leave but i cant stop being selfish...
i know what i have to do, I'm just to self centered to let you go, to give you what you need, even though you might not want it.
i can't give you some things. i wish i could. i so badly want to be able to give you them.
If only i had that one urge that could fix it, if that was what i needed to do to feel like myself then it would work. But i cant, even though it has the possibility to help. i can not do that one thing.
i wouldn't be me. i want to be with you as i am, not as someone else.
To leave you is the most painful thing i have ever thought about.
But. . . i have to do it.
sooner rather than later i know that.
i just don't have the strength to right now. I don't feel like i can leave you and be ok.
writing this feels like its final, its not. i will always love you.ALWAYS.
Till the day i die, whenever that may be
we have to talk, before the holidays.
we really do.
your my angel, my everything.
It hurts to say your better off without me.
Remember when we were this happy?
I'll forever love you Emily.
Ek Het Jou Lief, i know it's reciprocated my love.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
2 comments:
that was so, so sad. i cried.
aw i'm sorry.
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